moving on

Most days we move on. We pack down the van, plot the coordinates into our sat nav, and head for pastures new.

Each day we arrive fresh and new. A chance to begin again.

The issue I’ve had is, each day, the new day, means facing the same old me. We have driven for 10,000 Kms, we’re into our 9th country, and the one thing I have learnt, is you cannot outrun yourself.

I wanted to strip myself back on this trip. Get away from all of the shit that I felt clogged up my life; to feel light, happy, and grateful.

The last 110 days haven’t quite gone to plan. I find myself, again, sat in a beautiful location, at odds with myself, torn between who I am, and who I want to be.

I think I’m a better person than I was (though thats not hard). I knew that I would find elements of the trip hard, especially emotionally, but knowing something will be tough does not equipe you for when it comes.

I want to start writing the blog again, but feel like my mindset has been such an over bearing factor in our trip so far that not mentioning it seems somehow insincere, and posts feel like they lack context.

So tomorrow morning we will pack down and move on to a new destination. And like before, I will be there ready and waiting for me when we arrive, trying to be a better person than I was yesterday.

 

4 thoughts on “moving on

  • 20th August 2018 at 7:00 am
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    Good of you to be so open and honest. Your honesty is very refreshing in a world of social media hyper happiness. My major challenge came when we put down roots, albeit temporary (one year), in Valencia and I had to create a life for myself from scratch without any of the usual support structures around, including language. Then all my personal flaws (and strengths) came to the fore and couldn’t be as easily swatted away as when in my usual routine with my work to constantly distract me.
    Your posts are interesting whatever goes into them so keep them up, however you are feeling.

    Reply
    • 1st September 2018 at 11:54 am
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      Yes, before i left, i quite fancied ‘facing me’ but once it started, it was fucking horrible. I just couldn’t stop scrutinising myself, picking at the holes, and fixating on my flaws. Whatever comes next, i’ve Offloaded an awfull lot of grief and shit from my life, and am feeling much lighter as a result.
      I hope your getting along ok. X

      Reply
  • 22nd August 2018 at 1:48 pm
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    Hi Craig will certainly keep reading your blog. Have enjoyed it and as for last entry can relate totally. Just keep being you. Its learning how to deal with the baggage thats the hard part!
    Now back home and have absolutely loved Norway. The last night was the only horrible one when we woke up at 2.30 to two men in black trying to steal our bikes off the back ofthe van. Stephen had a scuffle through the window and even tho the bikes were locked on they made off with one of them . There were 4 other vans there too so not as if we were alone. Anyway enjoy your travels all of you. Mabel is a real beauty.
    Catherinex

    Reply
    • 1st September 2018 at 11:42 am
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      Yes i enjoyed reading your blog, i messaged a couple of times, but not sure they ever got through? The theft sounds horrible! And so scary! Did you move on afterwards or stay put? Also, where your bikes chained, or were they locks that are part of the bike rack? We keep ours covered, then strapped down, and have two different cable and d locks on ours. Every time i take the bikes on or off its such a faff, but hate the thought of someone having a go at ours in the night.
      On a cheerier note, Isn’t norway the most incredible place? Not sure i could live it, but would be happy to spend 3 months of the year there every year for the rest of my life.x

      Reply

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